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December 5, 2021
11:07 am

Hello again, Father. THANK YOU for helping me over that dangerously depressed stage, and helping me find some measure of JOY and HOPE again! Although I am still struggling with fear of the Unknown and moments of self-doubt and even wanting this lifetime to be OVER, for the most part I exist upon a plateau of peaceful deliberation, doing Pomodoros and just trying to keep my chin up and make the best use of my time and resources. I try to get myself to work on Spanish and other resources for this site, but without much positivity (or income, etc) in my life at this time, it is HARD to do anything very creative. I have hope for the future… but not the short-term future. I believe I can possibly turn this website into something I can be proud of… but ONLY if I can find a way to make money WITHOUT having to trade my time for money, working for other people to support myself and my Mate. It takes a LOT of light-hearted energy to create NEW materials, Lord. And I honestly still do not have much light-heartedness to spare — especially to invest in some possible distant future, when the NOW often feels so unfriendly and uncomfortable. PLEASE help us get my Mate’s vehicle back, finish up our things here in this COLD place… and FINALLY start heading south — almost two months LATE!!

Hebrews 11:1-6 ERV

Faith is what makes real the things we hope for. It is proof of what we cannot see. God was pleased with the people who lived a long time ago because they had faith like this. Faith helps us understand that God created the whole world by his command. This means that the things we see were made by something that cannot be seen. Cain and Abel both offered sacrifices to God. But Abel offered a better sacrifice to God because he had faith. God said he was pleased with what Abel offered. And so God called him a good man because he had faith. Abel died, but through his faith he is still speaking. Enoch was carried away from this earth, so he never died. The Scriptures tell us that before he was carried off, he was a man who pleased God. Later, no one knew where he was, because God had taken Enoch to be with him. This all happened because he had faith. Without faith no one can please God. Whoever comes to God must believe that he is real and that he rewards those who sincerely try to find him.

Lord, it is sooooooo much easier to have faith and hope in YOU, than in anything that seemingly depends upon MYSELF. Help me to find a balance between determined action, and peaceful rest. Help me to create for YOU, and trust you to provide for all my needs. Help me to BELIEVE that I am not just Garbage People, dumped here on earth to endure torture and write books about it… and then feel like it’s all just worthless, unable to really help anyone at all. Right now, I am SICK of spending countless hours promoting my books, only to get a few polite responses but NO SALES. I know I am in the EXPOSURE stage of the thing, promoting the FREE version and getting it in front of as many people as possible… and I still do feel like this is the RIGHT thing to do, and something YOU are prompting me to do… but it feels like I am worthless, just something to be USED, like a human steppingstone, and no more. I grow weary of my plight, Lord. Sustain me, comfort me, encourage me, make me ABLE to keep working and trying to help as many people as I can. I give this whole thing over to you, Lord. I give you my discouragement and my heavy heart. I give you my nearly non-existant finances. I give you my vehicle which at least now has new brake pads — yay! I give you my mind, my hands, my time, my work, my website, my books. All I have is yours, Lord. I am trusting you to continue to provide for ALL my needs — even motivation and emotional/mental strength. Amen.

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I have used this little pic to represent my prayer blog since February 2017. It’s a good mix of things that are ME: nature, worship, surrendering self… plus a solid dose of modernity and technology, as I believe this little box-human is one of the Amazon-style graphics that were popular at the time that I found it. Not sure who created this pic, but I do believe I found it on Pixabay, where NO attribution or credit is needed. However, I am quite willing to be corrected if I am mistaken. 😉 🙂 😄 :O>