19121907 – FranLaff.com

December 19, 2019
7:51 am

Good morning, Father! Thank you for a VERY productive day yesterday, from 6am all the way to 1am! :D Thank you for multiple breakthroughs, from personal courage… to attitude & preparation in my work.. and even in the unexpected peace, confidence, and satisfaction from my tiny video project last night, 10pm to midnight, lol. One of my three sons MIGHT visit, and wanted to see pics of the place, but I didn’t have pics, just videos. After a minor fiasco where I ran out of time, not knowing he was using wifi at a place that was fixing to close… I went through my vids from this month, since the day I got my little Instant Pot (I paid only $35 for it!), and “killed two birds with a stone” focusing upon the pot and some of the food items I have stocked to make stuff in the pot (along with some of my Mate’s silly antics, which I have more videos of than anything else, by far — lol). I didn’t do hardly any production — no timing or adjustments of speed, volume, sizing, etc… didn’t even make an opening or closing sequence… so it was rather just a skeleton of a video without the fleshy parts, haha… but it was FUN because I just truly enjoy video production THAT much! Are you drawing me into more work on videos, Lord? Anyways, it had the unintended effect of giving me more confidence, more peace, greater satisfaction, and even more ability to let GO of trying to help my son, trying to convey to him how much I DO care and just let GOD and my son work out if and when he visits, and all the details. I kinda feel like I was able to give him a cyber hug, by making the tiny video for him. Like perhaps he “gets it” that he is loved and welcome here. :D Thank you, Lord! [Link to my Fam & Fun unlisted vids, starting with the one I made last night]

Psalm 27 ERV

A song of David. LORD, you are my Light and my Savior, so why should I be afraid of anyone? The LORD is where my life is safe, so I will be afraid of no one! Evil people might attack me. They might try to destroy my body. Yes, my enemies might attack me and try to destroy me, but they will stumble and fall. Even if an army surrounds me, I will not be afraid. Even if people attack me in war, I will trust in the Lord. I ask only one thing from the LORD. This is what I want most: Let me live in the LORD’S house all my life, enjoying the LORD’S beauty and spending time in his palace. He will protect me when I am in danger. He will hide me in his tent. He will take me up to his place of safety. If he will help me defeat the enemies around me, I will offer sacrifices in his tent with shouts of joy. I will sing and play songs to honor the LORD. LORD, hear my voice. Be kind and answer me. My heart told me to come to you, LORD, so I am coming to ask for your help. Don’t turn away from me. Don’t be angry with your servant. You are the only one who can help me. My God, don’t leave me all alone. You are my Savior. Even if my mother and father leave me, the LORD will take me in. I have enemies, LORD, so teach me your ways. Show me the right way to live. My enemies have attacked me. They have told lies about me and have tried to hurt me. But I really believe that I will see the LORD’S goodness before I die. Wait for the LORD’S help. Be strong and brave, and wait for the LORD’S help.

Lord, my own father and mother “left me” all alone to raise myself, thinking surely I would die from all the abuse and torture and even live burial that I endured (the worst of it before the age of 10). But you took me in, made me aware of your presence in nature, at the early age of 3 or 4, when I used to sneak out of the house at night, and find my way down to the creekside grove… or during the day, across the creek and up to the little row of trees beside the hayfield, below my uncle’s runway for his hobby airplane. Although they can never know just how much I overcame just to BE a mom, many times I feel like I “left” my own children too early, too soon. In order to survive and heal, you provided me with my Mate, a “safe place” when my children were just teens and preteens. And although they all came to live with me, I feel like I failed them, by pulling in, distracted in my time of healing from the traumas of my past and building a life with my Mate, for our future (which we are living NOW — WOOT!). I feel like I failed this particular son the most, for reasons I cannot explain here. Basically, I feel like I was not able to give him the love and attention he needed — or that I THINK he needed. Still, I am trusting you with this son and with the other three of my children, Lord. YOU know what is best, you know what we ALL need… and I can only guess, and feel, and think my puny human thoughts. I return to the place of confidence and trust, with my faith fully rested in you, faithful Shepherd. I trust you completely. Lead on!

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I have used this little pic to represent my prayer blog since February 2017. It’s a good mix of things that are ME: nature, worship, surrendering self… plus a solid dose of modernity and technology, as I believe this little box-human is one of the Amazon-style graphics that were popular at the time that I found it. Not sure who created this pic, but I do believe I found it on Pixabay, where NO attribution or credit is needed. However, I am quite willing to be corrected if I am mistaken. 😉 🙂 😄 :O>

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