Boulder of Fear

from audiobook  Every Thought Captive” by Jerusha Clark,  1 hour and 18 min in – “chapter 3”?

“I’m standing at the bottom of the staircase in my childhood home. No one else is around. It’s eerily dark and quiet — still, but NOT peaceful. All of a sudden, a huge boulder comes around the corner and starts tumbling down the stairs, heading right for me. I stretch out my arms to catch the massive rock, and then repeated try to fling it back up. I never get it back up the stairs.”

“I figured out awhile ago that the dream is about FEAR. No one is around because when I’m anxious, I usually feel like I’m alone, carrying the weight of everyone’s — including my own — impossible expectations. I may try to cast off my worries… or throw them back up the stairs, in this case… but I never quite make it. That stupid boulder is too heavy, too awkward. Maybe even too familiar.”