Good morning, Father! THANK YOU for this nice start to the day — I ALMOST feel like I am back in the camper, rising with the sun and the birds, motivated with VISION and excitement for a new project! I REALLY want to create what I see in my mind’s eye, Lord — but I am this silly little human who has soooo much energy and dedication at the BEGINNING of a project, yet fades to boredom and indifference after the first few successes. I did this with my life story books
, with Jo Journals
… and I even SHUT DOWN ViVa
altogether — all of them projects which I abandoned for lack of VISION and dedication, more than for lack of TIME. And lots of different other projects in the past have been abandoned, not always along rough patches but even at successful highpoints of my creative journey. I doubt that I am alone in this — seems like part of the “human condition” lol.
Why did I stop? How can I make sure I don’t stop dead in the water on THIS particular project? I think I have learned that CLARITY is the key — but I am an infant in this thing called clarity
, in MAINTAINING not only my VISION, but my BELIEF IN my vision of the end product for whatever project I have dedicated myself to. I don’t burn out so much as I give up, lose interest, and more than anything else, I lose faith in the project
being of use to anyone. I think, “Yeah, this has been fun for my OWN entertainment, but no one else REALLY benefits from it, and I am BORED… so there’s just no use dedicating any more TIME to this.” And off I go, often with a sense of guilt, feeling like I’ve abandoned a pet… until I either find a “better” project, or I just lose myself in everyday, non-creative life stuffs.