— written June 28th, 2021 in SE Michigan —
It is difficult, when writing, to make judgements as to what will be interesting for the reader and what will not. THAT is what I mean by “chasing my memory” — or at least in this instance that’s what I mean, lol. It is not a LOSS of memory that plagues me, for that would leave me NOTHING to write about — other than the writing process itself, perhaps (which, in fact, this post is mostly about, LOL). Rather, my memory RUNS, and I seek to CATCH it in the process of ruminating on some specific place or time or event worthy enough to share with the reader. Since I have no way to verify if any given topic is interesting or not, I am forced to just start writing and see what happens. Still, methinks there should be a better way… So I tried one:
It is rather interesting to ME, noting the differences and similarities between myself and my brother with whom I am staying currently, at the farm where I was born. He CAN chatter endlessly like I often do… and he does seem to feel great about it as I often do, regardless of whether anyone is REALLY paying attention or not. (LOL) But I thought perhaps I could bring my laptop into the house and show him the following photo… then I could cool off inside the house, and make my tea bags while absorbing anything my brother had to say about the photo. My logic being: Perhaps something he says will trigger some part of my memory worthwhile to write about. Alas, I am here writing about the process of chasing my memory (still) instead. 😀 At least I have an interesting photo to share, lol.
The pic is labeled 1977, but both my brother and myself believe it to be earlier, and I have settled on 1974 as a “best guess”. I turned 3 that year, and it was when I was 4 or 5, I believe, when that central building (the garage) was torn down to make room for my maternal grandmother’s trailer — but it COULD be as late as 1977, the year I broke my left arm in 6 places…?? Regardless, I will paste below a pic I took a couple days ago, of the same basic place on this planet, but from a slightly different perspective. The big old barn is on the right in both pics, and what my brother calls the “granary” is at the far left in both pics — the structure I call the horse barn, because the lean-to side of it has two horse stalls. Of course, the passage of time has seen buildings come down and trees spring up, hahaha. Still, the faithful old red barn still stands, and I feel soooooooo grateful to God for that, because it is a most excellent place to work out in, especially during a rain storm (as I just did — again). AWESOME!! Thank you, Lord!!
So how does one “work out” in an old red barn, and is this an interesting enough topic for the reader (hahaha, who knows, I’m goin’ for it!)? Elementary, my dear Watson! There are two cement slabs inside. One edge of one of these slabs is the perfect height for me to put my heels UP, challenging me by altering my center of gravity. With these “fake heels” I can go back to my “dancing girl” teenage days, and do all sorts of squats and lunges and other good exercises — but with the stability of being on a ledge rather than on a narrow heel. Of course there are all sorts of rough-hewn beams and other beautiful details inside the lovely old barn, that are still stable enough to provide resistance. In fact, the little seat I used to sit on to watch my father milk the cow now makes a perfect place to do back-arm pushups! 😀 😀 😀 Sorry — Google and YouTube call them “triceps/bench dips”:
Alright, back to chasing my memory…
TBH (to be honest), my physical muscles are in better shape than my writing muscles — I am REALLY not used to writing every day any more, and I am trying to put the time in, to improve this situation. I don’t have any particular memory or part of my “life story” to write about tonight, so I am just WRITING. The times when I DO feel inspired to write something particular, so far tend to be when my laptop is put away and it is dark outside. In other words, I would have to change my sleeping area into a writing area — not as easy as you’d think, living inside a mini van! Yet all this is easy enough to overcome… I just have not yet gotten the clarity and momentum I need to work efficiently. I feel like a newbie at this! But I trust God and His perfect timing. I trust the PROCESS of writing, and of working, building something for the future. I know that creativity happens when you begin to DO something. Some days, chasing my memory and exercising my writing muscles are the best that I can do. 😉
A final pic, taken several years after the first:
This is an aerial photo of the same space, and I have attempted to show the relative perspective of the first photo from the 70’s (in yellow) and the second photo from this week (in off-white).